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Ik worstel …

7 June 2016
Ik worstel ... Al heel mijn leven voel ik een vlammetje dat me aanzet verandering te brengen in deze wereld Al van jongs af aan bots ik bij anderen op de overtuiging dat je niets kan veranderen, je kan alleen maar buigen en meedraaien Vaak voel ik exact de wortel van mensen en situaties aan Vaak wordt mij eerder aangemaand ‘politiek correct’ te zijn en de waarheid te verhullen of te verzwijgen Ik wil aanvaarden dat de wereld vandaag is zoals ze is Ik kan niet aanvaarden dat de wereld daarom morgen hetzelfde moet zijn Soms wil ik gewoon kunnen meedraaien zoals iedereen Soms wens ik genoegen te kunnen nemen met de huidige realiteit Ik kan echter niet opgeven verandering te proberen brengen Ik kan niet opgeven wie ik voel te zijn … ik worstel
Ik worstel … Nu ik meer en meer mijn werkelijke Zelf ben, voel ik meer en meer waarom ik ben, maar zie ik tegelijk nog niet waar ik kan Zijn Soms ben ik zo moe van het Zelf-Zijn. Zo vaak een spiegel voor anderen, zo vaak stukgeslagen